I had a dream that I went away for a while. I don’t really know where I went, but I stayed with people, I wasn’t completely alone. And when I came back, I told my loved ones. That’s what I had done. It seemed I was talking to a boyfriend or an ex-boyfriend, but I don’t know who that was, it’s no one from my real life. I haven’t had a boyfriend in years. I remember getting off an elevator and finding one of my lipsticks in the elevator, a Sugarpill brand lipstick called U4EA, which is a vivid teal shade. It’s quite old and I don’t wear it anymore, but I keep it. In the dream, I said I was going to keep it and start some kind of a make up vault for myself. I also said something about clothes, but it doesn’t really matter because in the dream I was thin like I used to be and in real life, I’m still fat. Maybe it was an illusion to the breakup that I had just before I got my eating disorder and gained all this weight. There are lots of parts. I don’t remember, but I do remember standing in the parking lot of a store. We were about to go in and showing the difference between an extravagant outfit and a new outfit which had paired down the extravagant mess, so it looked more streamlined, and Subtle. It was weird and disjointed, the dream.

Journey to Self Rediscovery

I had a dream that I went away for a while. I don’t really know where I went, but I stayed with people, I wasn’t completely alone. And when I came back, I told my loved ones. That’s what I had done. It seemed I was talking to a boyfriend or an ex-boyfriend, but I don’t know who that was, it’s no one from my real life. I haven’t had a boyfriend in years. I remember getting off an elevator and finding one of my lipsticks in the elevator, a Sugarpill brand lipstick called U4EA, which is a vivid teal shade. It’s quite old and I don’t wear it anymore, but I keep it. In the dream, I said I was going to keep it and start some kind of a make up vault for myself. I also said something about clothes, but it doesn’t really matter because in the dream I was thin like I used to be and in real life, I’m still fat. Maybe it was an illusion to the breakup that I had just before I got my eating disorder and gained all this weight. There are lots of parts. I don’t remember, but I do remember standing in the parking lot of a store. We were about to go in and showing the difference between an extravagant outfit and a new outfit which had paired down the extravagant mess, so it looked more streamlined, and Subtle. It was weird and disjointed, the dream.

Dreams often serve as a reflection of our subconscious thoughts, feelings, and experiences, blending reality with imagination. Let’s explore the various elements of your dream and what they might signify.

Going Away and Coming Back:

The initial premise of your dream revolves around leaving your familiar surroundings and returning, which can symbolize a journey of self-discovery or an exploration of your identity. This journey, even if abstract and vague, suggests you are taking time away from your everyday life to reflect on personal growth or changes. Being with other people implies that you are not alone in your experiences, even if these are unfamiliar figures. This could represent your desire for connection or support as you navigate through personal transformations or challenges.

Talking to a Boyfriend or Ex:

The presence of a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, even if not someone from your real life, indicates that you are thinking about past relationships or how they shape your current self-image and self-worth. This element of the dream may point to unresolved feelings or the desire for emotional intimacy. The fact that you haven't had a boyfriend in years, yet featured one in your dream, suggests a longing for romantic connection or the exploration of your past in relation to your present state.

The Elevator and the Lipstick:

Elevators in dreams often symbolize transitions or changes in your life, both upwards and downwards. Finding your lipstick in the elevator can indicate discovering or reclaiming parts of your identity connected to your femininity and self-expression. The specific lipstick being a vibrant teal color—U4EA—symbolizes creativity, individuality, and perhaps a sense of playfulness. Your desire to keep it and start a "makeup vault" suggests a yearning to preserve your past self or traits that you once embraced, as well as a desire to express your identity in a new way.

Body Image and Transformation:

The reference to being thin like you used to be touches on personal struggles with body image and self-acceptance. This part of the dream reflects the connection between your past and your current self, possibly alluding to feelings of loss about past bodies or identities. It's significant that this reflection ties back to your breakup and the eating disorder you faced afterward. This might indicate a need to reconcile your feelings about past relationships with how they affect your self-perception today.

Fashion Choices – Extravagant vs. Streamlined:

The disjointed nature of being in the store and comparing extravagant versus streamlined outfits could symbolize the struggle between your past identity (perhaps vibrant and elaborate) and your current aspirations towards simplicity and subtlety. Fashion often represents the self you present to the world, so the juxtaposition might illustrate an internal conflict regarding how you want to be perceived versus how you feel in your current state.

Final Considerations:

Overall, your dream encapsulates themes of self-exploration, reflection on past relationships, struggles with body image, and the evolving nature of your identity. The mix of familiar and unfamiliar elements reveals underlying feelings of longing for both connection and self-assertion. This dream invites you to explore these aspects further in your waking life, focusing on acceptance of who you are presently while recognizing the importance of your history in shaping that identity. Consider what steps you can take in reality to embrace both your past and your present, fostering a more integrated sense of self.

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