Journey of Love, Choices, and New Beginnings

I dreamed I was dating a guy and we were hanging out with another couple. It seemed like the guy and I had gotten pretty serious. He had told me he loved me. We were at a place where people gather, like a type of studio of some sort. There were lots of white, like white floors, white walls, and white little pallets to sleep on. I had been sound asleep there for a while. The guy I was dating came in. I woke up. I laughed that my hair was like a rat’s nest with lots of hair matted on top of my head from sleeping. I remembered, I had made plans with another guy and another couple. I told the current guy about it. I said it seemed like he and I were getting serious so I would go cancel that other date with the other guy. The current guy I was dating acted odd. I said, 'or I could wait for us to talk about it all (like whether we are serious)?' He said, 'yes, that’s better.' I realized that the mention of being committed made him nervous to be serious, and this was the second time he had acted that way when the mention of being serious. I left, and started walking over to where I was meeting the other couple and the new guy, now planning to keep the date. I walked up a street in a city, and stumbled upon a shopping area. I hoped to find a place to brush my hair and maybe put on makeup, like get presentable after being asleep. In the past I would buy new things in situations like this, but I wanted to not buy so many new things anymore. Like I wanted to budget better and not collect clutter, which used to be soothing and comforting to do, and still sounded nice, but I knew it was good for me to do this less. Later I dreamed I was at this bar I’ve been to in many other recurring dreams. I always dream of this bar when I dream of seeing old friends back when I went out more. I was there. I didn’t see any of my friends. I saw the private room with a bar where we used to meet (just in the dreams, not IRL). I walked over to the doorman, and explained the situation, that my friends were usually in there and I was welcome. I think he let me go in. I dreamed I was in college again, only I was my age now. And I decided to try out for cheerleader again. I needed to lose weight, and I had a lot to do to get in shape again. People who worked with the squad were helping me. One of them was a girl who had been a cheerleader IRL before me, and was my big sister in my sorority. My old female cheerleading coach was helping me too, plus a couple of other people I’d never met IRL. I could tell it wasn’t certain I’d be ready by tryouts, and I didn’t want it to become awkward with those helping me if I didn’t make it, so I let them know I knew I had a long way to go and I understood if I didn’t make it. They seemed relieved. But in my head, I planned to work very hard and do all I could to try to make it. Well it turned out I did make the squad. And it was about to be the first event. However, since I’m tall for a female cheerleader on a completely coed team, I couldn’t do my stunts inside the building because I would hit my head. The current coach said I couldn’t attend. The team and others defended me and said it wasn’t fair. They said we needed to do something, either fix the room so I could stunt, have the event somewhere else, or let me be there without stunting. She agreed and said she’d definite have the building fixed so I could stunt and participate at future events, but for this one, she said I’d have to sit it out. I kind of understood, it may not look right with me not stunting, though I was certainly disappointed. At least it was just one event. Others there were still discussing it, trying to work it out. I hoped it would work out, because it could be embarrassing if everyone knew I couldn’t cheer because my head would hit the ceiling. Not that that was bad, but sometimes people could just make things sound bad. But still, at least it was only one event at worst I’d be missing. I thought all of this as I walked away hearing them discussing everything in the background.