2026/10/5
Journey to Being Desired and Purposeful

I want to experience being "Select", just for once. And it doesn't have to be sleeping with numerous women. Maybe an extra 2 or 3 before committing to a relationship. Where one is a older woman like Selena, another is someone I've spoken to online, maybe Misha, and probably the last one could be younger or whatever, but I just want to be wanted for once. I want that while I'm single, but also when in a relationship. What is it like to be eye-candy? To get the shadow stares? To be desired. I need that in my life, and I want it. I want to explore my career in Training and Development and see how far I can go with my career. It feels like the perfect environment to build my stomping grounds and gain experience. I want to explore the world of Training and see what it offers because of how important it is to develop people. I want to finish writing my book, I want to do my 20s Talk series on LinkedIn, and I want to eventually start my podcast. And I want these things to open doors to explore more interest in making music, interviewing people, and building the Podcast Network, The Subculture. I want to travel a bit more. To Finland, Indonesia, Countries in Africa, and Underrated Places that enlighten my life. Something to hold onto. Lastly, I want all of this to be meaningful. Meaningful as in living the way I envisioned, receiving rites of passage, and laying down a foundation for my children, if designed to. I want to be "One" with life where it aligns with me and reveals what I should and should not go for. What is necessary, and what is worth pursuing. I hope where I'm heading makes sense. I believe it does, especially how it's imagined. The part that I'm extremely cautious of is having children. It's not the work but, am I deemed to be a father? When I look at how I'm trying to take care of myself at this current age, would I be ready for raising a family. I can tell you right now at 28 I'm far from Ready or confident; but it would be an honor if I'm capable. I feel that as a Dad, what if I'm a failure because I'm not versatile as other dads or active or fun-like? What if I'm too strict to where they'll resent me? I don't know honestly. But I do know if I do have children, I'll give it my all to them to where their life is better and they can focus on their gifts in which eventually can be shared in a positive way. I just want to be able to say I did it the best way that's possible.
Interpreting this heartfelt vision for your life is akin to peeling back the layers of a deeply personal dream. Here’s an interpretation:
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Desire to be “Select” and Desired:
- Inner craving: Wanting to be "select" embodies a longing to feel prized and sought after, which transcends mere physical relationships. It's about experiencing a sense of value and self-worth, feeling like a desirable and essential presence in others' lives. This is reflective of an underlying need for recognition and validation.
- Shadow stares: Symbolically, being desired or receiving "shadow stares" could represent an aspiration to leave a lasting impression, to be impactful and remembered. It suggests a deep-seated wish to be appreciated not just for superficial qualities, but for who you are as an individual.
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Career Aspirations in Training and Development:
- Growth and Exploration: Training and Development appear in your vision as fertile ground for personal and professional growth. This shows a yearning to cultivate skills and uplift others, signifying a higher calling to nurture and contribute positively to society.
- Written and Spoken Ambitions: The pursuits of writing a book, hosting a talk series, and launching a podcast demonstrate a strong desire for articulation and influence. This is a quest for voice, where you hope to share insights and inspire, building a legacy that is educational and transformative.
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Passion for Travel:
- The World as a Classroom: Your desire to travel to diverse and unique places suggests a thirst for new experiences and a broader understanding of different cultures. The countries mentioned symbolize a quest for enlightenment and enrichment, embodying an explorer’s spirit.
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Desire for a Meaningful Life:
- Alignment and Purpose: There's a yearning to harmonize your life with your core values and vision. You’re seeking clarity about what is truly worth pursuing, trying to align your actions with the essence of life’s purpose.
- Paternal Concerns and Aspirations: Questions about fatherhood reflect an introspective examination of readiness for future responsibilities. The fear of inadequacy suggests deep care and a conscientious approach towards the prospect of raising children. This can also signify a rite of passage into a new, uncharted territory of personal significance and legacy.
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Overall Intent and Fear:
- Your vision concludes with hope for satisfaction and fulfillment, striving to live life in the best way possible. The fear of inadequacy speaks to an ongoing internal dialogue about identity and capability, particularly around new roles and responsibilities in life.
This dream articulates a symphony of desires and uncertainties—the universal quest for connection, achievement, growth, and legacy. It's a rich tapestry where aspirations for personal glory blend intricately with the humility of self-reflection and the noble goal of positively impacting the world around you.